It seems a little redundant to start with an excuse as to why I've been away from this blog for so long. Probably because I'm not what you would call a regular blogger, anyway. So either way it's going to be pointless. To sum up what happened in that time:
1. I became older.
2. I went to Mumbai for 10 days.
3. People are suddenly treating me differently.
So the birthday came and went without occasion. All the better, because some people seem to think it's hilarious to call me old at this age? I mean, if someone - anyone - had laughed when you first made said joke, it might have been considered funny, but the lack of positive response means that no matter how many times you make the same joke, or how much louder you feel you need to tell it, it's still not going to be funny. Because even jokes need to be based on some sort of logic or societal cliche.
And I am not that old. At least not in the upstairs.
Still, I can't believe I'm getting married in a couple of months. Am I supposed to be excited at this point? Up til now it's mostly been a lot of confusion and an even worse case of nerves. I mean, really? Me? Ask anyone - I'm no wife. Even the word doesn't suit me. How does anyone ever know they're ready for this? I for one don't even truly realize that it's my wedding. I still feel like I'm going to somebody else's - and I'm excited about that. A part of me doesn't want to realize it because the idea completely freaks me out.
But the trip to Mumbai was absolutely amazing. I have never had such delicious food in my entire life. Shopping really isn't my thing but it wasn't something I could opt out of - especially not this time, so that was exhausting. I've got lots of new clothes now, including two wedding dresses that weigh as much as about two healthy newborns. Each. Cue the jokes about needing to lose even more weight to compensate for the weight of said dresses.
You see, our weddings have certain traditions that have been put into practice for generations - as with any culture. One of them being that, at the end of the wedding day, after all the ceremonial recitations, gift giving, candy stuffing, food hogging etc, there comes a point where the groom (groom? =\) has to lift his bride (by then wife). That's right. The poor sod has to carry the girl in his arms, just like in the movies, and if he can't it will be the downfall of them both. Pun intended. But it doesn't end there. He has to carry her all the way to wherever the crowd sees fit. Sometimes it's the car at the end of a long corridor, or the elevator at the end of the hall - it varies. And yes, it's as embarrassing as it sounds.
This one tradition, which lasts all of maybe 30 seconds, weighs down on just about every Indian bride I've come across from the moment they meet the guy. One of them stopped eating completely for about a month for fear that her fiancee didn't have the strength. Turns out he did, after all.
Are the same thoughts occurring to me, you ask? I'm having about 3-4 ice creams a day, if that answers your question.
But the ever decreasing time span has spurred on the older crowd to make all the jokes everybody has heard before - about everything from cooking all day to having a hundred children, and almost everything in between. I'm told there are worse jokes to come after the wedding night. Oh, the horror.
That's enough of my rambling to last a while. If I disappear again it's because I'm too busy not accepting reality.
Toodles! :)
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