2010

If there's anything I've learned over the past few weeks, it's that becoming a positive person isn't an individual decision. It's very difficult to see the bright side of things when you're surrounded by people who insist on focusing on the depressing bits. All this negativity, anxiety, suspicion, envy, ungratefulness and sometimes even hatred - tends to get in the way of trying to find that slim silver lining. But, apart from a few slips I think I've managed quite well.

One thing that has helped me a LOT is the fine art of tuning out. I've forgotten how blissful it is to just sing a song in your head or relive a happy memory when you're face to face with the persistent voices of nonconstructive criticism. Also, having practiced this for as long as I can remember, I can not only completely block out any and all noise, I can even put on the required expression (guilt, sadness, anger, indifference, pride) and hold it for as long as is necessary. I'm not trying to blow my own horn here - at least not too much, because it is one of the talents I've mastered over the course of my life.

I think the one thing that binds all these people - those who feel the need to bring you down at any point - is that they talk more and listen less. Since they don't do much listening to begin with, it's hard for them to differentiate between someone who is paying attention, and someone who clearly is not. These tend to be the same people who just do not get hints. For example when they come visit you in the hours after dinner (or just before) and they refuse to leave even after you've pointedly gone to your room to change into your PJ's, switched off your TV, yawned uncontrollably and hinted that your eyes can barely stay open. You know the ones I mean.

So to ask them to take your feelings into consideration when they say things to you ("I've had 3 kids and you're twice my size! Wow you're going to be HUGE once you have children.") would be a considerable mental burden. You pretty much have no control over what they say or when they say it (when you're refusing to eat because your clothes won't fit, perhaps). Also, if they're older than you, you usually can't bite back - although we all know we're perfectly capable of it.

The best thing to do in this case, at least for me, is to just ignore them. It's worked out great so far, and I feel like a happier person already. :)

Cheers!