Getting married is a total pain. Especially if you're Indian. Or maybe it's just me. For anybody who doesn't already know (of whom there are none, I'm sure, because I don't think there's that many people that read my blog) I am pre-engaged and supposed to be getting married sometime next year. Initially this piece of information was a source of much happiness to yours truly, mostly because of some deep rooted personal issues that I felt I had finally overcome. But as of late it has become a source of anguish, increasing in its intensity as I type.
I don't want to go into intricate details, but the way things are going, I can safely conclude the following:
1. The wedding is not going to be where I had always imagined it would be (and should be).
2. Only a couple of my friends at most will be able to come, that too if they can afford it (which looks unlikely).
3. Even among family, not everyone I'm close to is going to be there.
I don't know why I'm listing things down. I think it would suffice to say that nothing on this day, or before it, is going to be even slightly according to my preferences. Honestly, I'm not those anal types who needs to pick every single thing, right down to the colour of the design on the cutlery that's going to be used. I couldn't care less about such things. But some things just mean a lot to me, and it ticks me off when it's not agreed upon not because it's not possible, but because it isn't to anybody else's taste. For God's sake whose wedding is this?
On top of that my mom is slowly trying to force on me the things I've hated doing ever since I was a child, purely because 'it is what girls do'. Screw what girls do, it's not by doing them that I've gotten to where I am today. So what if I'm a little unconventional? It's nothing drastic that would bring shame to the family, or whatever. What is wrong with not wanting to do some stupid little things that nobody really cares about anyway? It's my personality and I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it.
This is my fault, you know. I've always been the 'nice' kid. The one who always listened and did things just to make other people happy. Maybe nice kid isn't the right phrase. It's more like I'm the doormat. Everybody seems to think it's okay to just walk all over me and not give a crap about what I have to say about it. It's what got me here in the first place. And it looks unlikely to change. At least have the courtesy to admit you're treating me like sh*t. I don't need your pretend concern, asking me questions about what I think and then ignoring it completely. To hell with that. God, I really miss talking to people who don't ask what I think just to try and be polite.
It's not even been officially decided yet and already I hate my wedding. Not only is nothing going to go my way, I am also going to be insanely uncomfortable and irritated the entire time. Aren't you jealous?
I'm gonna save up and catch a flight to Mexico, where I shall live on tacos and own 200 cats.
Yeah, I wish.
No comments:
Post a Comment