slimyblackgarbagejuicysludge

Maybe it's this room or something, I don't know, but I really think that over the past few days I've begun to act more and more like...her. I'm always yelling, and if I'm not I'm in a bad mood and feel like yelling, and if I'm not I'm just being a total pain in the bee-hind and spoiling everyone else's mood with comments like:

"I told you so, but you don't listen, so now you suffer."

"Why are you asking me? That's not my problem and therefore I don't care."

"I don't want to help. Not like I'm getting anything out of it."

"God, you're so annoying. Get lost."

It seems like that's all I seem to say anymore. Ugh. I don't even like myself right now. :(

Worst of all? I'm saying this stuff to people when it's really uncalled for. I can feel them begin to hate me. =\ Is this how adults feel all the time?

I've become like those cranky old ladies that never have anything nice to say. You know the ones I'm talking about. They nudge you just a little too hard when you're waiting in line, take the last piece of your favourite dessert, grab your arm for support with the hand they were using to eat, and take your seat when there's an empty one right next to it, just to see what you're going to do about it. No?

Maybe it's because I've been so idle. I mean Eid has come and gone, and here I am sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do. I've no job (yet), I still haven't written my theory exam for my driving class, and I wake up at noon everyday. I literally have no life. The only things that are keeping me short of being a complete hobo are regular meals and the roof over my head. So yea, maybe it is just me.

Hmm. Blaming it on the room sounds more logical.

*...thinking...*

No, wait, I've forgotten how to do that because there is absolutely nothing to do here.

*stares*

Speaking of her, we spoke for a while today. It was every bit as weird and awkward (for me at least) as I'd imagined it would be. I think it took us a whole 5 minutes just to get past the intial bit of the conversation:

"Hi."

"Hello."

(long pause)

"How are you?"

"Fine."

(long pause)

"And you?"

"I'm okay."

(long pause)

And then the conversation went on because we were talking about something else that's going on somewhere in our family. That's a whole other story that I can't tell because it's been going on too long for me to summarize it, and also because it's not ended yet. And then came the big finish.

"Okay. I just called to see how you guys were doing."

"Okay."

(long pause)

"Okay, bye."

And that's when I hung up. Til that point I hadn't realized that I'd just made holes in some sort of application form that was on my table with a pair of scissors I hadn't known I was holding. Huh. Go figure.

On a much lighter (and less violent) note, I found this online a couple of weeks ago. Just thought I'd share some laughter. :D Haha and yes, it's safe for children, in case you're wondering. Enjoi! :)